9.06.08

Kidney Stone... Ok, So where have I been these past couple of weeks? Well, part of my absence was caused by a little teeny tiny deposit in my kidney. I got a stinkin' kidney stone... It sucked! I woke up in the middle of the night to shooting pains... At first I thought it was caused by a visit to the Gym the day previous, but it felt so incredibly different than any other muscle being pulled. I went to the Emergency room and when I walked in, this is how the conversation went with the receptionist:

Receptionist: Oh good, you're here
Me: (confused and in pain) Ok?
Receptionist: Come this way, She's right in here

(At this point, figuring she's referring to a nurse or doctor, I follow her in to a room where a girl is sitting in a chair shivering and looks at me confused)

Me: I don't know who she is
The Girl: I don't know who he is
Receptionist: Oh, you aren't here for her?
Me: No.... I am here because I am in excrutiating pain in my back.
Receptionist: Oh, I am sooo sorry, lets get you in the next room.
Me: Thanks.

(They put me into a Pre-Observation Room)

Receptionist: So, what's wrong?
Me: I hurt real bad!!
Receptionist: Where?
Me: In my back, I think it might be a kidney stone (based on my dad's experience)
Receptionist: Could be a punctured lung, but I am not a doctor, what is your pain rating?
Me: 10! (I am about to fall out of the chair)
Receptionist: Are you nauseous?
Me: No (but then after she mentions it, I start to feel queezy)... Actually, I do feel nauseous. Receptionist: Oh, well we better get you a bag then.

(They take me to a room and the doctor pre-diagnoses without confirmation that I have a kidney stone, but I will need a cat scan in order to determine where and what size)

Nurse: Are you in pain?
Me: Yes
Nurse: Can you rate your pain?
Me: 10!!
Nurse: Ok, I am going to start you out with a shot of morphine
Me: Fine, whatever, please just something.
Nurse: We are going to need you to pee in this cup.
Me: Ok, fine (but not really) (The radiologist comes in)
Radiologist: I am here to take you to the cat scan.
Me: Ok, Hey, how long does it take for morphine to kick in, because I am still in a lot of pain!! Radiologist: About 5 min.

(He wheels me to the cat scan and tells me to lay on the bed thing with my hands in the air, which is extremely difficult with a drip in my arm...)

Radiologist: Listen and do as the machine instructs
Me: Ok.. (barely breathing because of pain)
Machine: Please take a deep breath and hold it. (Machine buzzes and I am more annoyed) Machine: You may breathe normally.
(At this point I don't know what normal is)
Machine: Please take a deep breath and hold it
Machine: You may breathe normally.
Radiologist: You are all set.
Me: Great, about how long does it take for morphine to kick in?
Radiologist: Are you still in pain?
Me: Yes!
Radiologist: What's your pain rating?
Me: Still a 10.

(He takes me back to the room and the nurse comes back)

Nurse: Are you still feeling pain?
Me: Yes. Nurse: I can give you more morphine, do you want more morphine?
Me: Yes.
Nurse: What's your pain rating at?
Me: 10.

(He gives me another shot and I can start feeling the morphine begin to kick in... and I kind of like it.... For some reason I feel that I must call my sister at work... You'll have to ask her for the synopsis of how that conversation went our memories of the conversation are completely different from eachother)

(The doctor comes back and confirms that I have a kidney stone, instructs me to go home and rest and wait for it to pass into a hospital-provided filter)

(At this point, the morphine finally kicks in and I don't remember a whole lot)